How did I get here?
My Golden thread
Am I far enough from the scalpel?
"Am I far enough from the scalpel? Far enough from my own personal hospital drama episode to reflect? These were questions rolling around this head of mine. For months. I pondered about writing of my experience, encouraged by friends, but it made me feel nauseous. The thought of sharing the terror of those first weeks after diagnosis left me distracted and distant. And yet a larger part of me knows that only in coming out into full expression will I have a gnats chance in hell of surviving this emotionally.
By nature I’m a recluse. More firmly connected to the trees, hills, seas and hidden places. I think many more have found this gift for self reflection in the arms of nature again. These times we are living in are intense, but I digress. Its often been the way I escape the reality of life, it feels too harsh to me. Humans feel too harsh and unkind. But with a cancer diagnosis I can’t really hide anymore. I think folk like me are needed, or so that’s what the social media memes would have us all believe. Something about standing and being seen, helps when you are redefining your life to have a living meaning..."
Exert from Medium blog post 12 April 2021